Penny for Your Thoughs: Re: 9% of U.S. Kids Have ADHD

Penny for Your Thoughts:

"Re: 9% of U.S. Kids Have ADHD"

By Pagan "Penny" Penguin
09/05/07

Read this horse crap from the Washington Post:9% of U.S. Kids Have ADHD

Are you wondering the same thing as me - how much did some pharmaceutical company pay these scientists to do this research? Because as far as I can see, this sounds like a bunch of disease mongering.

Now, let me start off by saying that I’m not teasing the people in this world who genuinely have a medical problem. But since there is no laboratory or imaging test that can indicate reliably whether someone has ADHD, I’m suspicious that the general populous has given into the epidemic “marketing” of this disorder.

Plain and simple, this world medicates too much for personality-type.

I mean, don't you ever remember being a pre-teen? Weren’t you also a whiny brat that thought the world “didn’t understand you”? It's called puberty, not ADHD! It’s perfectly normal to feel a little confused when you’re hormones are going nuts and you feel like you’re trapped in your own awkward body. But somehow, for thousands of years, we’ve been able to make it through to adulthood without all these prescription drugs shoved down our throats. Heck, I would like to see a study on to evaluate how many drugged-up youngsters ended up abusing substances later in life, simply due to the fact that their parents gave them prescription drugs to chew on when they cried instead of gummy bears.

But I hear it time and time again – “My four-year old runs around the backyard screaming at the top of his lungs! I saw a commercial where a kid was doing the same thing. Do you think I have a child with ADHD?” Congratulations. You have a four-years-old. That’s just what they do.

How about some old-fashioned discipline? I’m not talking about spanking, I’m just telling you to just have a freaking backbone every once in a while! Don’t reward your toddler for throwing a temper tantrum and they’ll eventually stop throwing them. And when your pre-teen starts sobbing for $100 jeans so she can look like Britney Spears, don’t put her on anti-depressants. Just stick her in a paper hat and make her flip some burgers for those fancy-pants. Sure, she’ll hate you for it today, but she’ll thank you 10-years from now when she actually understands the value of a dollar.

Here is scary, but realistic scenario: Billy acts out in class, so the school nurse pressures his parents to medicate him, and the parents cave because they don’t have time to deal with a “troubled” child. So, whenever it’s time to hand in homework, he gives a little doctor's note that says, "Billy can't do his homework because he's bipolar/depressed/paranoid/schizophrenic and/or has really bad jock itch. Please excuse him from doing any work for the next four years of high school."

So, the other kids ask why Billy doesn’t do homework. He reveals that if you pretend to be sad or “crazy”, your parents will take you to the doctor for a note so you don't have to try as hard in school. He’ll even admit that his mom cried for joy when he played video games all day because he was “taking initiative, set goals and achieving something." What a crock of shit.

All the kids get jealous and cry home to mommy, who has just seen seventeen infomercials about “AHDH Awareness” during daytime television. The kids get “diagnosed”, the doctors get paid, the pharmaceutical companies get paid, the parents no longer feel guilty, the school no longer has to teach, and the kids happily pass excuse notes forward while slowly turning into zombies.

You see, the one thing that Billy's note doesn't mention is that antidepressants are addictive and detox can be a struggle. Some kids can’t handle coming off the meds, so they find other kids to sell them their prescriptions. Forget about lunch money - all you need is a $5 hit of antidepressants to satiate you. Get a grip people – you’re turning your kids into lazy, uneducated, suicidal junkies. If you think I’m exaggerating, google some medical forums and read about the reported side effects.

So, when your kids come home from school with bad grades, don’t start lacing their cereal with drugs. Just get to know your child. Talk to them like an adult, instead of nagging or coddling them. If that doesn’t work, get a few professional opinions and counseling before you use drugs as a pacifier.

Have we learned nothing from Bart Simpson from Episode SI-1022, where his class becomes victim to a new fad drug called “Focusin?” But what do we know? We’re just cartoon characters.