Recipe: Vegan "Chicken" Masala Curry

I’ve noticed that people really like my cooking as long as I don’t tell them that it’s made with “tofu.” Here’s what I don’t get – what’s more disgusting – a substance derived from soybeans, or eating the grilled portion of a dead animal’s flesh? Well, anyway, I have heard that this recipe tastes “just like the real thing,” which is a little disturbing, because that means it tastes just like me. Why does EVERYTHING have to taste “just like” me?

So, without further adieu, here is the

Wiccan Chicken's Masala Curry

Serves 4
Prep time: 20 minutes
Cook time: 25 minutes
INGREDIENTS
1 pack of “Chicken Free Chicken”, 2" cubed*
1 onion, diced
1 tsp. garlic, crushed
1 tsp. ginger, crushed
1-2 TBS. Chicken Masala Spice**
1/2 cup tomato, finely chopped
1 tsp cilantro, chopped
1 TBS. olive oil
1-cup water

PREPARATION
Sauté onions, garlic and ginger in oil until lightly browned. Add Masala spice and sauté 2 minutes. Add tomatoes. Cook 10 minutes. Add Chicken Free Chicken and cook an additional 5 minutes. Add water as necessary. Serve over rice (I prefer brown but white is good, too).

* You can usually find “Chicken Free Chicken” at the health food store. I have also used chicken-textured tofu from the refrigerated tofu section of our local Asian market.)

** Chicken masala spice is available at your local Indian grocery store/in the “Ethnic Foods” isle at the grocery store. This is also sometimes known as garam masala. These are the ingredients if you want to make it yourself:

4 oz. coriander seeds
1 oz. cumin seeds
1 oz. black pepper
½ oz. black cumin seeds (shahjeera)
½ oz. dry ginger
¼ oz. black cardamoms and cloves
¼ oz. cinnamon
¼ oz. bay leaves

1. Dry roast all the ingredients (except dry ginger) very lightly.
2. Cool and dry grind to a powder along with the dry ginger (I use a pepper grinder.)
3. Store in an air tight bottle.